Homesick.

At some point in our lives we reach that stage where we move on to bigger and better things all on our own without the safety and comfort of our family. This stage is one of the hardest we face because we are leaving pretty much everything we had behind. Whether is our family, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc. in the end we all do it for our own future. As you know I left everything and everyone I loved to start a new chapter in my life. It hasn’t been easy at all waking up and not being in MY room and having my family around. Being in a new place where I pretty much don’t know anyone, and have no one close to help me when I desperately need help.

Some of you might ask ” Then why the hell did you leave?” and the answer is simple I needed to. I needed to leave that comfort and face the world all on my own. Yes, I’m terrified, yes I miss the comfort, but this will help in the long run. I’ve felt like I haven’t experienced little to no things in my 24 years of life, so I decided to take a risk and see where this leads. I miss my family. I miss all of them even if sometimes they get on my nerves they were the ones who kept me from falling down into my depression again. In life there are sacrifices that must be made to achieve our goals. I sacrificed so much to be here I cant give up and I’m not planning too, but I am scared. Scared that I won’t be able to be on my own. Scared that I’ll disappoint my family again or worse, myself.

This place is beautiful, but is not home, at least it doesn’t feel like it yet. Sometimes I feel like this is all a dream and that I’ll open my eyes and be back in PR. I have to make the best of it. I have to do this for me. I need to prove to myself that I can be on my own. That I can face any obstacle in my way. That I can get out of  my comfort zone. I gotta make not just myself but my family proud and even though I miss them so much, I’m right where I have to be.

 

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