Anonymous Writings #2: A Short Suicide Story

The world hasn’t been fair to me. No matter how positive and strong I try to be it always finds a way to bring me down. I’ve been more than patient, but I’m afraid I’ve run out. School is hell, no one notices me and the ones who do just mock me. Mock who i am, how i dress and how i look. Why? I haven’t done anything to them but I guess I’m an easy target.

At home, I don’t exist. They don’t acknowledge me, they don’t care, I’m just a burden to them, an outcast. I don’t have a “special someone” nor have I ever had one. I haven’t experienced what it is to fall in love and be loved. To be kissed, held and desired. I guess that’s it huh. I get home and no one notices like always. I go up to my room and lay in bed for a while, pills in my hand. I think to myself “quick and painless”. Just a handful and it all be over. No time to waste, I take the handful and swallow them. At first I feel nothing but then I start to feel sleepy. I close my eyes and I’m gone.

It’s peaceful and quiet for what it feels like forever. Voices start echo and then I see them. My family. They’re….crying? Why? I thought it would make life easier for you guys. I see my room, they haven’t changed it everything is exactly how I left it. Did I really caused them all this pain? Am I really that selfish? The image changes and I see myself spending time with my family, graduating high school, going to college, finding the love of my life, starting a life together, having two beautiful kids and eventually dying having lived a happy life. What is this? Is this what was in store for me? Was I really destined to be happy? I guess so. I gave up to easily. I could have all that but I let the world get to me.

 

Everything turns a dark again. It’s quiet and peaceful. I open my eyes and there I am laying in bed with a handful of pills.

 

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