Letters of Apologies

Mom,

I’m sorry for not being the son you wanted me to be. I’m sorry for being unstable, for not studying what you wanted me to study, for all those nights you went to bed crying because my issues were to overwhelming for you, for not having my life figured out at 24, for being stubborn and not listen to your advice. I’m sorry for trying to kill myself a few times without even considering how devastating it would have been to you, for not caring about any of you guys, for not accomplishing anything and especially for not showing you how grateful I am for everything you’ve done.

Dad,

I’m sorry for believing every single thing you told me. I’m sorry for letting my immature mind believe all those empty promises you made me, for trying my hardest to make you proud and not once achieving it, for all those fights we had and the many times I wanted to end my life because of you, for all those moments you said I was worthless that at some point I started to believe it, for all those times you kept kicking me out and I kept coming back, for all those times I let you humiliate me in front of everyone and didn’t say anything.

Bullies,

I’m sorry for letting all of you mentally fuck me up and scaring me for life. I’m sorry for never standing up to you all, for falling into peer pressure just so you guys would accept me,  for all those times I cried because I didn’t want to go to school, for all those times I felt I wasn’t strong enough and unworthy because of you.

Ex Lovers,

I’m sorry for getting my heartbroken by all of you, for feeling like I wasn’t good enough, for letting my life be controlled by someone other than me, for accepting being cheated on multiple times, for being someone I’m not just so you’d like me, for all those times I wasted my tears on all of you when weren’t worth it.

Past Me,

I’m sorry for everything we’ve been through I know it wasn’t easy but we survived. I’m sorry for all those stupid decisions I made that ended up messing our life up even more than it was already messed up, for all those times I wanted us to take the easy way out and just end our story, for all those times I wanted us to be strong but let our fears and insecurities take over, for destroying and giving up on all the dreams we had, and for not accepting us as we are.

Present Me,

I’m not sorry for anything. Everything we’ve been through, every heartbreak, every decision has led us to this moment. We’ve grown, matured, and learned so much all these years, we didn’t become the person others wanted us to be, but we became the best version of ourselves. We lived half our lives trying to please others and putting them over ourselves, trying to make them proud of us when we weren’t even proud of ourselves, letting them walk all over us and corrupt our minds and self esteem with lies, but no more. Now we stand more confident than ever, stronger, smarter, and it’s all thanks to all those people we let influence our lives in the past. Keep your head up because times will get tough, but as long as you don’t give up, in the end, you’ll see how much it was worth it. Our time is coming…

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